the shiz

There are a few NBA coaches you wouldn't want to be right now. You wouldn't want to be Cleveland's Paul Silas, who can't figure out what to do with Ricky Davis or how to break the Cavs' almost surreal inability to win on the road. (Tuesday night's loss at Denver being their 32nd in a row over two seasons.) You wouldn't want to be Eddie Jordan, who (like Doug Collins before him) can't figure out how to get through to Kwame Brown, who now blames his mediocre play on his not "getting noticed" by his teammates. Let's not even get into whether you'd want to be Johnny Davis, recently appointed to rescue the sinking ship that is the Orlando Magic, or Mike Dunleavy, stuck in the sloggy mess that is the Los Angeles Clippers.

But for my money, the coach you'd really not want to be is Maurice Cheeks of the Portland Trail Blazers.

With the news earlier this week that forward Zach Randolph was charged with driving under the influence -- by rough count the 879th time that a Blazer has run af...