Jokes

Lawyer and Vulture
What''s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Wings.
An Ugly Position
What's the position to make ugly babies? Ask your parents.
Mafia Christmas
A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."
Sick Hick
A redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him. "I can't seem to find the problem, but I think it has something to d...