Devil's Advocate

Dear Valued Members,

We would like to thank you for another year of supporting our cause to protect the planet from the unnecessary destruction by thoughtless and apathetic companies all over the United States. Due to some of the events of the past year, we have been forced to change/create several new policies. They are as followed.

 The use of foul language at any social protests is from now on prohibited.

 The bi-yearly protests against large wailing ships with our tiny rafts are cancelled indefinitely.

 Any protest chants with ridicules rhyming puns will be dealt with in an even harsher manner than before.

 Yearly membership to our cause will be raised to only four easy installments of $399.95 (+ tax). An extra 50¢ each day you are late with a payment

 The yearly Christmas party will now be held in warehouse C, on Government Blvd. down by the docks. (Due to budget cutbacks).

 Human...