Contrasting the four Gospels

Thank you all for attending my super soupy speech today. I know
you all would rather be tending to your pets or making model
airplanes, but what I have to say today will enhance your life
through a technique I like to call “Foid Gras”. The last time I
did this trick on someone, they couldn’t help but say I was on
fire with the Lord! He suggested to me that I too take this
procedure on myself and try to cool down into a good being of
thought. The way I serenade myself with water while reading my
favorite chapters of St. John’s gospel, it puts me into a
euphoric state. Bear with me today folks, for I have gone to the
trouble of setting up the sprinklers in this room in order to
soak you while I read. Imagine that the water isn’t just water,
but tears of joy from God (water beg...