A spoon, that lived to tell a tale.

Once upon a time there was a spoon. A spoon. What's so intersting about a spoon? Well I'll tell you.
This spoon, by some magical incident, was given the greatest gift of all. The gift of life. The gift to co-habit with the rest of us humans, to think, breath, eat and even fornicate like us humans. Of course not with humans, because that's just stupid! This spoon was given a great gift alright and boy did he use it well.
Well one day in the spoon's (let's call him Tom) house, there was a party. Not an ordinary party with balloons and sweets and pop and the like, no this was a grown up party. Wesley, the teenager of the household was throwing a party for his friend's birthday and this involved alcohol and recreational drugs. Well the party was going swell, people were off their faces, puking everywhere, gyrating with each other and meanwhile the cutlery were being untouched. Tom (the spoon, remember) was having a nap. He ...